Because there's other important things I should be doing...

So yea, I haven't been blogging... bla bla bla! SORRY FRIENDS! I'm not that interesting though, I promise, so I'm done addressing that!

Welcome to blog post #3. This one has been a LONG time coming. I think this post was the original thought for why I should start a blog. So ready for it, guys?

Meet Allison.

Cute right? I meant the pup (kidding, well not really, Annie is SO TINY here, litttttleeeee babbbbbbeeeeeeeeee! ok ok, getting distracted).

And here is Allison again in her Lilly Pulitzer dress.

If you are unfamiliar with Lilly Pulizter, urban dictionary (an obviously credible source) defines Lilly as "preppy and waspy apparel at it's best," which is actually a pretty excellent description of Allison's style in general.

Preppy and waspy is generally not an issue for a girl living in North Carolina but Allison L-O-V-E-S all things glitter and as I have [rather astutely] pointed out in the past, homegirl can not pull off sequins.

And this is the point where Allison is reading this blogpost and makes the pouty sad-face because she knows it's true. Are you shaking your head sadly Allison?

I agree.

Because sequins are AWESOME.

Like, who doesn't love sequins?

Not someone I want to be friends with.

Check out this dress, so fun right?

And this blazer? LOVE this blazer.

But seriously, nothing compares to this beauty. I am currently trying to justify buying this dress. Which is hard since I don't go out anymore and already made my frivolous purchase of the week (hellllllo HotPants)

Of course, not all sequins are created equally.

This is what happens when sequins go very very wrong:

the. horror.

Even when done well, not everyone can pull sequins off and dear Allison is one of them. No offense Al, I'd look ridiculous in a cable crewneck!

But don't worry readers. Even though our gal Allison will never be able to pull off the beauties from before, I have scoured the internet and found some viable options for our sparkle-loving friend.

it's from Jcrew, so essentially it was made for waspy people who can't pull off sequins either

I'd so wear this.

When in doubt, there's always sparkly accessories. This pretty perfect clutch would look good with any ole Tory Burch cardigan (as long as you could lose the pearls for a day)

And last, but certainly not least, is this AMAZING dress that would look fantabulous on Al:

Granted it's over $900 and I can't imagine a single place that Allison could or would even want to wear this. It'd make for a badass alternative wedding dress but I've already planned her future wedding and it doesn't quite fit my theme.

And don't worry Annie, I didn't forget about you...

copyright infringement

Inordinately Annoyed

The inaugural post! Wow. Where to begin? Let’s start with: thank you, dear [5] friends for reading my blog. Or, my one and only blogpost as the case may be. Okay so that’s probably not true at all since I know there will be at least one more post because I have been promising my friends to write on a specific topic for months now. I’m not really sure what this blog is going to be about. Probably nothing. A blog about nothing. Hrm, that doesn’t sound like a very interesting blog to read but a show about nothing made Jerry Seinfeld a lot of money so I’m going to just roll with it (but not make any money). I’m thinking this thing will be a combination of all my favorite blogging styles, only I’m not as fashionable as cupcakesandcashmere, not as hilarious as hyperboleandahalf, not as domestic as pioneerwoman, not as awesome at everything as afoodiestaysfit, and definitely not as witty as mydamnwedding. So expect (if more posts follow) a mediocre mishmosh of those things. Most of all, I’m going to try very hard not to turn this blog into what it easily could become… me ranting and raving about the totally normal, everyday things that a sane person would not notice or be bothered by but, irritate me to NO MOTHERF#^*ING END because 1. I’m judgmental and catty to begin with and 2. I’ve been memorizing shit about covenants and easements and the rule against perpetuities for weeks and the sound of people breathing near me will inevitable make me fantasize about shoving my palm into their septum. So there’s that. But I digress. On to my first rant!!

Today was a beautiful day in New York City. 86 degrees and bright blue skies. Normally, I’d love a day like that to no end. Today however, the little things were not going my way. The two bathroom stalls I used today both had no toilet paper (which of course I realized when I was… reaching.for.the.toilet.paper [sidenote: most places in NY have those paper seat covers that double as oil absorbing sheets for shiny foreheads, I’m not sitting down on public bathrooms with my bare butt-skin… and before you comment: they absorb oil but they don’t replace TP, oh I tried]), a school field trip decided the best place for the middle-schoolers to meet up was sitting on the stairs blocking the entry to the library, and then, the topic of today’s post: My Inordinately Annoyed Reaction To Tourists in the Library.

Before you say anything, I know that I’m asking for trouble by studying in the New York Public Library but trust me, I’ve checked out my other options and the NYPL is my best bet for not killing someone (or at least stealing their souls with my evil glares [or so I thought]. I understand that the library is a landmark and blah blah blah so if you want to take pictures of the library, fine, totally cool with me. What bothered me today was noticing all the people talking pictures of themselves/their co-tourist PRETENDING TO READ. Really guy? You need a picture of you looking intently at a copy of Who’s Who Among American High School Students among a room full of people studying for the MCAT, the GRE, or watching an episode of ‘Bones’ on Hulu? You’re in New York for like 3 days, no one is going to believe that you were really sitting around the library with wind-screwed-up hair, a bright red face, and beads of sweat dripping down your face. Do you also pretend you are actually painting the art on the wall at the Met? These are questions I need answered!

Two girls that came in and decided to camp out at my table for, I kid you not, at least 45 minutes having a camera phone photo shoot re-e-eally just pissed me off. The ginger girl refused to look mildly interested in the book she has just pulled off the nearest shelf but still had probably 50 to 100 pictures of her taken in various forms of ‘look at me reading this book’ and ‘look at me reading this book but now I’m wearing a scarf’. I realized at some point that these girls probably weren’t tourists, just really self-absorbed. What tipped me off was that when the bitchy girl with the painted on face saw me giving her soul-stealing glares and possssibly snapping a picture of her snapping pictures of her friend fake-reading, she started giving me dirty looks right back.



End Rant.