Inordinately Annoyed

The inaugural post! Wow. Where to begin? Let’s start with: thank you, dear [5] friends for reading my blog. Or, my one and only blogpost as the case may be. Okay so that’s probably not true at all since I know there will be at least one more post because I have been promising my friends to write on a specific topic for months now. I’m not really sure what this blog is going to be about. Probably nothing. A blog about nothing. Hrm, that doesn’t sound like a very interesting blog to read but a show about nothing made Jerry Seinfeld a lot of money so I’m going to just roll with it (but not make any money). I’m thinking this thing will be a combination of all my favorite blogging styles, only I’m not as fashionable as cupcakesandcashmere, not as hilarious as hyperboleandahalf, not as domestic as pioneerwoman, not as awesome at everything as afoodiestaysfit, and definitely not as witty as mydamnwedding. So expect (if more posts follow) a mediocre mishmosh of those things. Most of all, I’m going to try very hard not to turn this blog into what it easily could become… me ranting and raving about the totally normal, everyday things that a sane person would not notice or be bothered by but, irritate me to NO MOTHERF#^*ING END because 1. I’m judgmental and catty to begin with and 2. I’ve been memorizing shit about covenants and easements and the rule against perpetuities for weeks and the sound of people breathing near me will inevitable make me fantasize about shoving my palm into their septum. So there’s that. But I digress. On to my first rant!!

Today was a beautiful day in New York City. 86 degrees and bright blue skies. Normally, I’d love a day like that to no end. Today however, the little things were not going my way. The two bathroom stalls I used today both had no toilet paper (which of course I realized when I was… reaching.for.the.toilet.paper [sidenote: most places in NY have those paper seat covers that double as oil absorbing sheets for shiny foreheads, I’m not sitting down on public bathrooms with my bare butt-skin… and before you comment: they absorb oil but they don’t replace TP, oh I tried]), a school field trip decided the best place for the middle-schoolers to meet up was sitting on the stairs blocking the entry to the library, and then, the topic of today’s post: My Inordinately Annoyed Reaction To Tourists in the Library.

Before you say anything, I know that I’m asking for trouble by studying in the New York Public Library but trust me, I’ve checked out my other options and the NYPL is my best bet for not killing someone (or at least stealing their souls with my evil glares [or so I thought]. I understand that the library is a landmark and blah blah blah so if you want to take pictures of the library, fine, totally cool with me. What bothered me today was noticing all the people talking pictures of themselves/their co-tourist PRETENDING TO READ. Really guy? You need a picture of you looking intently at a copy of Who’s Who Among American High School Students among a room full of people studying for the MCAT, the GRE, or watching an episode of ‘Bones’ on Hulu? You’re in New York for like 3 days, no one is going to believe that you were really sitting around the library with wind-screwed-up hair, a bright red face, and beads of sweat dripping down your face. Do you also pretend you are actually painting the art on the wall at the Met? These are questions I need answered!

Two girls that came in and decided to camp out at my table for, I kid you not, at least 45 minutes having a camera phone photo shoot re-e-eally just pissed me off. The ginger girl refused to look mildly interested in the book she has just pulled off the nearest shelf but still had probably 50 to 100 pictures of her taken in various forms of ‘look at me reading this book’ and ‘look at me reading this book but now I’m wearing a scarf’. I realized at some point that these girls probably weren’t tourists, just really self-absorbed. What tipped me off was that when the bitchy girl with the painted on face saw me giving her soul-stealing glares and possssibly snapping a picture of her snapping pictures of her friend fake-reading, she started giving me dirty looks right back.



End Rant.